An empowering way to engage with stress?
You read that correctly (this knowledge bomb may just change how you relate to your life)
This month our focus is STRESS - the impact on our body-mind, what we can do about it, and (most importantly) how we can manage/ respond in really functional (read: real life friendly) ways.
Week 1 we explored the background and I introduced you to the idea of a "stress response cycle" (an idea from the fabulous book "Burnout" By Dr. Emily Nagoski and Dr. Amelia Nagoski (yes they're sisters, twins actually!).
Week 2 I invited you to consider what the STRESSORS are in your life (and which of them you might be able to Delegate, Delete, or Defer to reduce your load!) using the 4D's resource (download here if you missed it).
This week, we're going to dive into the STRESS RESPONSE.
Because, even if you've reduced your STRESSORS...life can be...lifey.
As I shared in week 1 STRESS is NOT BAD! The stress response is highly functional and vital to our survival. The challenge in our current context (aka an "always on," fast-paced, striving culture with stressors at every turn), our stress response can become chronically activated (which is NOT how it was designed).
So how do we manage the STRESS RESPONSE itself so we're not CHRONICALLY ACTIVATED? That's the focus of this week (and next)!
Step ONE in this process is to recognize (when our stress response is activated) so that we can respond (in functional and helpful ways)!
This week our goal will be to explore how we RECOGNIZE the Stress Response in our bodies (and next week we'll turn to how we can RESPOND both in the moment and on a broader scale).
Recognize YOUR Stress Response
How do you know when you're stressed? What happens in your body? What happens in your mind? What do you notice emotionally?
Understanding how our unique body-mind responds to stress is pivotal to our ability to respond (early and in functional ways to reduce the impact on our health and well-being).
To understand this, one of the theories that is widely discussed in psychotherapeutic circles is Polyvagal Theory. I'll get to how Polyvagal Theory views our stress response in a second, but first, a primer on your nervous system.
Your nervous system is constantly scanning your internal and external environments for cues of safety or risk/ danger with the primary goal of keeping you ALIVE!
The Polyvagal Theory recognizes that there are multiple pathways through which our nervous system responds to activation or arousal (aka degree of risk/danger) and each of them have relatively distinct responses (physical, emotional, and mental).
This video (presented by the son of the founder of Polyvagal Theory) is an excellent (and somewhat humourous look at the theory).
When I'm explaining it to clients, I often draw the chart below as I explain...
Caveat: this is oversimplifying a much more complex system, but generally speaking I still find this way of conceptualizing our nervous system response helpful. I’ll get into the nuances a wee bit later! But generally speaking…
The constant “scanning” of our nervous system leads to AROUSAL (far left arrow) or a neuroception of SAFETY, DANGER, or LIFE THREAT. When this “neuroception” perceives (general) SAFETY, our body-mind are generally in a state of "Social Engagement." This pathway is governed by the the Ventral Vagal Complex (VVC).
When the body-mind scanning picks up a neuroception of DANGER, this activates the Sympathetic Nervous System. You may have heard of this system as it relates to the "Fight/ Flight response.”
If the scanning picks up a degree of LIFE THREAT this activates the Dorsal Vagal Complex (DVC). This is often referred to as the “freeze response.”
You'll notice that in each of these states, there are distinct responses:
Social Engagement - you generally feel calm, connected, curious, and compassionate. You might have also heard this state referred to as "rest and digest" because this is optimally where you can do both!
Fight/ Flight - this is a BRILLIANT response. If the nervous system perceives DANGER this system is all about MOBILIZING you into action (you read that correctly! Low levels of frustration and anger can be FUNCTIONAL cues to take ACTION/ FIGHT, just as low levels of worry/ concern/ anxiety MAY be FUNCTIONAL cues to retreat to safety/ FLIGHT).*
Freeze - this occurs (also brilliantly) when you've been aroused/ activated TOO MUCH or for TOO LONG and while it MAY look like functional shifts such as raised pain threshold (ie. if you're fighting for your LIFE feeling pain isn't helpful!) and dissociation (if you're in a situation that is traumatic dissociation is a highly adaptive response), these responses can also be very challenging long term (ie. depression, numbness, shutdown, etc.).*
*Did you note that *? That’s because this is where nuance happens. Viewing these “systems” of response as distinct is oversimplifying the complexity of this masterfully complex and nuanced system. Have you ever noticed that at times you might feel engaged/ motivated/ with a drive for taking action, perhaps even with an energy of frustration driving the change? This is also sympathetic charge. But it’s symptathetic charge in the presence ventral vagal tone (ie. you feel the DRIVE/ initiative of sympathetic charge in the presence of safety, connection, and orientation to the environment). This also occurs in freeze…sleep or deep rest occurs when you’re in a shutdown state paired with ventral vagal tone (safety). Like I said…nuance.
The point of this exploration…
The goal in exploring all of this is to gain insight into why we respond the way we do to STRESS. Legit it's a "we're wired this way" thing.
So when you've had "a day" and one more thing sets you off into ANGER (getting agitated at ALL THE THINGS) or ANXIETY (thoughts spinning and heart racing) or puts you in a FREEZE (scrolling your phone or zoning out feeling immobilized on the couch)...you can recognize that you need to take a beat and tend to your activation and/or look for cues of safety, connection, and orientation to the environment.
Better yet...you can NOTICE when you're feeling on the CUSP of that edge and TEND to your activation/ need for safety before hitting FIGHT/ANGER or FLIGHT/ANXIETY or further into FREEZE/ DEPRESSION/SHUT DOWN.
Big picture the aim here isn't to STAY in social engagement ALL THE TIME. That's not realistic (or safe if there's a legitimate life threat). We need the adaptive responses of FIGHT/ FLIGHT/ FREEZE...
The goal then is to be able to NOTICE where we're at, and then TEND to our needs as necessary (more on that RESPONSE next week!).
One more thing to share as you're considering viewing your nervous system/ Stress through this lens...reminder: every body-mind is unique!
So how you experience each of the states (what you notice in your body-mind), and how much activation tips you into FLIGHT/ FIGHT/ FREEZE will be unique to you (related to your unique biology, (including neurodiversity), as well as your psychology - including trauma history).
This week, be curious...
What do you FEEL like when you're in each of the states?
Do you notice your BODY? What sensations are you aware of or NOT aware of?
Do you notice your MIND? What do you notice about your thoughts/ mood?
What ratchets up your activation/ arousal?
How do you notice safety, connection, and orientation to your environment?
(in prep for our focus next week) What helps you come down?
Onward in thriving,
Gillian
So many great things here. I find it so interesting where I find myself when stress comes into my life. I’m so thankful for the tools and knowledge I have gathered to manoeuvre through my unique mind and body. 🫶🏻