What does it mean to THRIVE?

I promise it's not toxic positivity.

Sep 24, 2024

Photo credit: Courtney Brice Photography

I've long been inspired by the field of positive psychology. Some of the first Master's programs I looked into (back in 2005) were focused on positive psychology. Though I didn't follow that path, I've continued to follow the field and deeply appreciate the non-pathologizing view of health it takes (ie. rather than looking at someone as a series of broken parts to fix, positive psychology is a strengths-based inquiry that is focused on helping people live a life rich with meaning and purpose). Cool right?!

One of the core concepts within positive psychology is "flourishing."

Originally defined by Dr. Martin Seligman, "flourishing" is a state of well-being and happiness that exists when we tend to 5 key aspects (acronym PERMA):

P - increasing positive emotions
E - engaging with the world through work or recreation
R - developing and maintaining meaningful relationships
M - finding purpose and meaning
A - accomplishing goals

It’s a pretty great list, right?

Though often interchanged in lay-writing, and sometimes even in the literature, the concept of "thriving" is its own unique and growing field of research. It centres around the notion that "thriving" occurs when an individual develops in ways that not only benefit the individual but also the system it occupies (ie. the family, community, etc.). Wherein thriving is dynamic and adaptive, and creates a ripple effect of thriving. Whoa.

Now that I can really get behind.

Note: some of the more current flourishing research also takes this more systems-based relational approach.

Semantics aside, this much is clear: I want to FLOURISH/ THRIVE (and if you're still reading, I suspect that might appeal to you too).

Since writing "flourish/ thrive" is cumbersome, and they're synonyms, I'm going to go with THRIVE.

By the dictionary definition to THRIVE is to grow vigorously. And I like that too.

I feel moved and inspired by the idea of growing vigorously... in multiple areas of my life...in ways that also contribute to the THRIVING of others.

When we each thrive, we all thrive.

So, how can we THRIVE?

Well, that's what this Substack is all about. Each week(ish) I'll share tips, ideas, or resources to help you THRIVE (body, mind, spirit). It'll be about helping you THRIVE individually, but also about how we can THRIVE as a collective (because we're better together).

Are you in?

A note about toxic positivity….and how THRIVING differs.

The pursuit of THRIVING isn’t saying we won’t have seasons of struggle or survival. That’s part of life. It’s also not taking those challenges and slapping a positive affirmation on them in the name of “flourishing.” Nope.

The hope is that with an intention of THRIVING, we have improved bandwidth and strategies to be with and move through those tough times with resilience and grace (for ourselves and others).

So if you’re in a tough season, please know you’re welcome here too. Always.

So, why “Courage to Thrive?”

Because it takes courage to say yes to exploring. It takes courage to look inward. It takes courage to ask for more. It takes courage to set boundaries. It takes courage be with difficult emotions. It takes courage to try new things. It takes courage to explore old narratives (and write new ones). It takes courage to be curious…and open to what you might discover. It takes courage to ask for help. It takes courage to navigate tough seasons. It takes courage to allow the joy. It takes courage to be vulnerable and real. It takes courage to live authentically. It all takes courage.

So yes, Courage to Thrive.

This week's tip to THRIVE: take a pulse check.

Ok, not literally, but figuratively, let's start by getting a sense of how you're doing. Before you do this, remember this is not about a pass/fail. If you notice an emotional reaction or some judgment to your response, be gentle with yourself. That response likely indicates this is important to you (awesome! what a gift it is to be able to notice and affect change in areas of our life where we aren't thriving)!

These questions come from the Flourising Scale by Diener et al. For each question, consider where you'd rank yourself on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree):

I lead a purposeful and meaningful life.
My social relationships are supportive and rewarding.
I am engaged and interested in my daily activities.
I actively contribute to the happiness and wellbeing of others.
I am competent and capable in the activities that are important to me.
I am a good person and live a good life.
I am optimistic about my future.
People respect me.

As you reflect on your answers, remember, that they're just data. If this area or domain of your life is not where you'd like it, what is one simple action you could take this week to shift the scale? (don't overthink or over-complicate it).

Here are some suggestions:

reflect on what would be purposeful or meaningful life, to you? (journal prompt or simply ponder)
connect with a friend (in person or virtually)
practice mindful presence in one activity (eat a mindful meal, or practice genuine presence with a friend)
complete a random act of kindness or volunteer in a way that is meaningful (not a chore or obligation)
if you're not feeling competent and capable in an activity - investigate one action you can take to improve (connect with a teacher/ coach, ask for help, time block practice time, etc.)
what does it mean to you to be a "good person" or live a "good life?" (journal prompt or discuss with a loved one)
be curious, what is impacting your optimism? What is in your power to change (do that), what might you need to accept (practice self-compassion - I like this short meditation with Mindful Self-Compassion founder Dr. Kristin Neff)?

I hope you enjoyed reading. And more importantly, I hope you took something from what you read!

If you have any feedback or questions about this theme or any of the content I share, please COMMENT! (I genuinely love hearing your feedback - constructive or otherwise...because GROWING!).

Onward in thriving (with courage),

Gillian

PS. If any/ all of this feels a bit overwhelming. Place your hand on your heart (gesture of tender self-compassion) and take a slow, deep breath with a LONG exhale. Did you know long exhalations is one way you can tell your body you're OK and become more resilient to stress? Yeah. Cool.

A little about me:

I'm a body-neutral health + fitness coach, turned therapist.

What does that mean? In addition to my degree in Kinesiology, multiple fitness/ health registrations (Personal Trainer, Group Fitness Instructor, Yoga Fitness Leader, Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor), and 25 years in fitness taking a weight-neutral approach, I've now acquired a Master's in Counselling Psychology and some more cool letters behind my name (RCC, aka. Registered Clinical Counsellor in BC).

Read: I'm a body/mind/ spirit health nerd who is passionate about making a difference! I want to help you not just survive, but THRIVE!

Thanks for being here! I hope you enjoy this weekly-ish Substack!

Feeling inspired? Some ways you can connect with me…

One to one Coaching (for health | fitness | intuitive eating)

One to one Counselling (for folks based in BC, Canada)

Virtual Courses and content (Intuitive Eating | Making the Authentic Health Mindset Shift | Body Positive Fitness Library)