Your body is not a messy carrier pack for your mind.
Why embodiment (aka an integrated body-mind) is so vital to thriving.
German scholar Teresa Silow says, "The body is not a thing we have, but an experience we are."
This distinction she’s making between thing and experience is important. It’s important to our mental and physical health, vitality, and thriving. It impacts how we view our bodies. It impacts how we treat our bodies. And it impacts how we relate to others as well. But before we can explore how it does that that’s so important (and how embodiment is the key), let’s first examine how we got here (ie. to a place where viewing our bodies as a thing…is a thing).
Let’s dive into why, shall we?!
What does it (really) mean to view your body as a thing?
When we view our body as a thing - distinct from ourselves - we are viewing it as an object.
According to Objectification Theory, "Western culture led individuals (particularly women) to accept socio-cultural standards of beauty and body appearance, internalizing an outside observer's perspective on their physical selves that typically encourages self-body surveillance and shame." (Nerdy citation here). Please note, the italics and bold are mine for emphasis because… this is big. Understanding that we internalize our cultural standards and that this impacts our attention on our bodies from the lens of an outsider and that doing so contributes to toxic shame is huge (we talked about that here when we discussed body image).
BOTTOM LINE: Ultimately, it is this objectification that fuels the diet, aesthetic fitness, and beauty industries.
If there was NO objectification, these industries would dramatically shift (I wonder if they’d survive at all?!).
Let that sink in for a hot minute ((I know, it’s big)).
Bottom line: when we view our bodies as a thing, our mental/emotional real estate is hijacked from the present moment, from our passions and pursuits, and our ability to realize our goals. It pulls us in like a vortex to focus on and prioritize how we are perceived by others, rather than deeply knowing and trusting our inner guidance - our embodied Self energy.
Think about it this way.
If none of the socio-cultural beauty and body standards existed…
How would you move about the world?
How would you spend your time?
How would you spend your money?
What would you do?
What wouldn’t you do?
Take a moment and sit with and reflect on these questions. Because they are big.
And while we don’t live in that fantasy world where objectification isn’t a factor, what I hope you can hear for yourself from this reflection is a deeper connection to your values - and to your wise and embodied Self energy.
Perhaps you connected with some clarity around how you’d like to allocate your mental bandwidth or an awareness of a deeper desire to be more present in the here and now.
What can we do about it (viewing our bodies as a thing)?
While we can’t escape to this objectification-free fantasy-world, we can begin to dis-engage from the systems of oppression (and capitalist structures) that fuel them. We can not engage in diet culture by investing in the products, programs, and plans. We can not feed into the aesthetic beauty and fitness industry by buying their products and services. If we stop picking up what they’re putting down…this can shift the system. But that shift takes time (and a critical mass of us taking these steps).
So, how can we effect change while still living in the systems?
We can work towards greater embodiment and shift from viewing our bodies as an object to viewing our bodies as a subject.
If you’re on socials you might enjoy this reel talking about the body as object vs. body as subject (you can watch it here). But in case you’re not, here’s the gist.
Viewing your body as a subject is about recognizing that you experience life through your body (ie. we can’t experience the richness of life without it!).
Our body (as SUBJECT) enables us to:
Feel our emotions and sensations fully (pleasant and unpleasant). It is through our bodies we experience ALL our emotions (ie. we feel the feelings) - which enable us to connect (and respond) to our deeper needs and yearnings.
Be aware of our physiologic needs so we can tend to them (ex. hunger, fullness, rest, movement, desire, etc.). Our bodies do a wondrous job of communicating these needs (when we are embodied, listen, and reliably respond).
Connect with our environments (people, places, things). Through our bodies, we can identify and reach for what we need, grasp and pull it in, or push away what we don’t (whether that’s food, people, pets, or actual objects).
I want to acknowledge that this might be hard to consider.
Feeling unpleasant emotions and sensations? No thanks.
But here’s the thing. Not feeling the (unpleasant) feelings or sensations doesn’t make them go away.
It just means our system will find another way to cope (read: our body-mind used coping strategies, that worked in that moment, that possibly don’t serve us here and now).
Perhaps we learned to soothe or numb with food, drugs, or devices. Or we became so focused on productivity or people pleasing that we that we aren’t even aware of our own needs and wants. Or literally any other thing we use to NOT FEEL.
And THAT is really what is available with greater embodiment (ie. viewing your body as subject).
An ability to be more attuned to your body’s messages (emotional, physiologic, desired), so you can tend to those in a way that works for you, your body-mind, and your life.
I hope that offers a glimmer of hope if this seems daunting (I know it did for me).
So, how can we become more attuned and embodied?
Next week, we’re going to dive (even deeper) into this topic of embodiment, and I’m going to share some ideas to help you lean in. We’re also going to gain more insights into why so many of us are dis-embodied (because we just touched the tip of the iceberg today).
But before I leave you today, I want you to hear this.
There are many reasons we have become disembodied (including the socio-cultural objectification we named today). But no matter what the reason, disconnection was an act of self-preservation.
Dis-connection (and the associated means of coping) was a choice your body-mind made to survive.
It is what got you here. Alive. And that’s amazing.
And what might be available right now is a glimmer of awareness that this way of coping no longer serves you. And that’s gold. Because that awareness can help us move forward towards greater embodiment. To a place where we can be present to ALL our emotions and sensations, and mindfully and intentionally shift towards healthier coping stances and strategies (which of course...supports THRIVING).
Did a penny just drop for you? I hope so. When I first connected with these ideas of disconnection and unhelpful coping I had a total full body AHA moment.
This is big, REALLY big stuff.
And, as I said...it might feel a little hard to consider (even scary).
So I invite you into this work slowly, with gentle curiosity - and no pressure.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you have a significant trauma history, be respectful of resistance. that resistance is also endeavouring to keep you safe. Please be sure to access support (please hit reply if I can be of service!).
Onward in thriving,
Gillian
PS. This got a little "theoretical" and "scholarly," but I hope you heard something for yourself. Starting next week, I'm sharing a little more context about how we got here, but then I’m going ALL IN on the practical side of this conversation. I’ll introduce you to the first of three embodiment practices you can integrate (easily) into your (real) life!
I look forward to this substack and the thoughts and subjects you share. This topic is big and one that I have definitely dived into. I’ve been there like many in this messy thought of my body being an object and that I need to fix it. I’ve leaned in knowing that my body is a lived experience and like you referenced a subject. So many amazing and helpful tools here. I am grateful for what you share and the learnings that I gain about my SELF and my body-mind connection. 🫶🏻